We’re back to school and back to reality this week. Thankfully Sophie has settled back in quite well. She did get very upset the night before school started though. She’s missing Jessica a lot at the moment and it’s hit her that she’s started year 2 and Jessica never got to do that, and that she really has overtaken her big sister now. We had a few tears from her going into school that first morning, and quite a few more from me after I got home.
I’m struggling with being back at school to be honest. There’s a new headteacher; we have to drop off and collect outside the school gate and all the necessary precautions make everything feel so much more detached. I’m anxious about the increased risk of Covid-19 transmission with Sophie now being part of such a large “bubble” and struggling with the fact that my ability to keep my family safe is now greatly reduced. And yet I know that being back at school is the right thing for Sophie. She is so happy to be with her friends again.
This time of year is hard anyway with new milestones that Jessica isn’t part of – milestones that she never reached – and her ninth birthday coming up on Sunday. Nine feels so much older and so much further removed from the six-year-old Jessica we knew. The next few days are going to be tough ones. We just have to ride the storm as best we can and hold on to our beautiful memories of our beautiful big girl.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Trying on my bridesmaid dress that has now been adapted by my mum and sister so I will be able to breastfeed Thomas in it.
- Thomas being fitted for his pageboy suit.
- Going on a nature hunt at Chiltern Open Air Museum.
- Doing shadow drawings with Sophie.
- Finishing off the summer holidays with a day out at Cliveden.
- Sophie throwing autumn leaves into the air and over Thomas, making him giggle.
- Having more space in the garden now that hubby has taken the event shelter again (although I do miss having a nice dry area to sit outside in when it rains!)
- The way Thomas kept stopping on our walk to the park to point out the numbers on houses and car number plates.