Six months. Six months since the last time I cuddled my big girl; the last time I looked into her beautiful eyes. How can six months have passed by already, how did I manage to survive six months without her? And yet I have and will continue to do so. One moment at a time,… Read More
The day after Jessica’s funeral, we attended the Little Hearts Matter memorial service at the National Memorial Arboretum. Six months on from the last day of her life, we returned for the Little Hearts Matter autumn memorial walk. For us, the day was about having space to remember Jessica and our beautiful memories of… Read More
One of the many things that broke my heart when Jessica died was sorting through and editing photos of her, knowing that there would be no more new ones to take. No new memories to make together, no new moments to experience. Yet while of course there are no new memories to make with her,… Read More
I had a conversation with an acquaintance recently, triggered by a discussion about whether I was planning any more children. The conversation went something like this: Her: “Well, two children is enough.” Me: “Three.” Her: “Oh yes, I forgot about Jessica.” (pause) “Well, two really. Nice to have one of each.” Me: “No, not… Read More
Here I am again – back to doing the school run. Dropping a little girl off at a reception classroom once more. How different it all is second time around. I’ve relaxed back into that familiar routine very quickly. I’m more confident, the faces on the school run are familiar ones. I’ve missed this.… Read More
I’ve been told a few times since Jessica died that I need to have counselling. I’m sure the people who tell me this mean well, but it leaves me wondering why they think I need it so much. Is it because they feel like I’m not coping with my grief? Or that I’m not… Read More
Jessica’s birthday was always such a milestone moment. As well as being her birthday, it was also one of her heart days – the anniversary of her first open heart surgery. A day full of excitement, watching the joy on Jessica’s face as she opened her cards and presents and feeling thankful for being blessed… Read More