My first thought on looking back over this week and looking at the current level of messiness in my house and the things that I didn’t manage to tick off the to-do list this week was a feeling that I’m not on top of anything this week. But looking back over the things that I did manage to do, while I haven’t quite managed to keep all the balls I’m juggling up in the air, I’ve got some key things done, we’ve had some lovely family moments and I’m reminded that sometimes you just have to let some things go for a while.
We’ve had a couple of trips to the park after school and Thomas then wanted to walk the long way home so he could look at all the numbers on the houses. We used to do this a lot when he was in pre-school and it was so lovely to be reminded of those memories again.
My husband has been away on a work trip to Amsterdam this week and went out for a meal at the floating Sea Palace restaurant. Last time he went there was when we were on tour with our university jazz choir 25 years ago which prompted me to look back over the photos from that trip and revisit those memories again.
The arrival of spring this week comes with very mixed feelings for me. Spring used to be my favourite season and while there are moments of joy that come with seeing the blossom and the sunshine, and the start of the warmer weather, it also comes with painful reminders of those last weeks of Jessica’s life. Spring was very late in coming that year and one very vivid memory is of Jessica looking out of the window at the snow in March and longing for spring to arrive. The weather stayed mostly grey and chilly until the day she died and I remember walking out of the hospital into warm sunshine and feeling the timing of the first real day of spring as being the cruellest slap in the face. It still hits me like a slap in the face when it first arrives. I know that there will be a lot of looking back over the next few weeks as we get closer to the anniversary again. While I mostly try to look back on all our beautiful happy memories of Jessica, I know that the intensely painful ones will also have to be worked through again too.
What I’ve been grateful for this week:
- Day 58 – I am grateful for seeing Sophie carrying the Colour for the first time at Girls’ Brigade.
- Day 59 – I am grateful for an afternoon with Sophie watching some beautiful dancing and having some interesting discussions.
- Day 60 – I am grateful for listening to Thomas working out how to play his favourite tunes on the piano.
- Day 61 – I am grateful for a lovely walk with Thomas after school looking at the numbers on the houses like we used to do when he was smaller. Lovely to see signs of spring along the way too.
- Day 62 – I am grateful for the way this little boy still loves to climb into my lap for a snuggle.
- Day 63 – I am grateful that I already had everything I needed for Thomas’s World Book Day costume in the craft cupboard.
- Day 64 – I am grateful for being able to get the washing out on the line.
Other things that have made me smile this week:
- Getting back to swimming lessons with Thomas in a new venue as the previous venue has been closed due to an issue with the pool.
- Making Thomas’s costume for World Book Day. He’s sticking with his usual theme of taking in his Numberblocks annual and dressing up as the Numberblock that matches his age.
Joining in with Raisie Bay for Word of the Week.
Also joining in with #Project365:
Ah the pair of you were uni sweethearts! I’ve got a couple of friends who’re married to the men they met in freshers week at uni. Sounds like there’s been some lovely moments this week, and no stress needed for WBD costumes which is good.
Ahh! It sounds like a good week even if you haven’t kept all the balls up in the air. That is so sweet that you walked the long way home to look at the numbers on the houses.
What a fab photo of you and your husband.
Sending love and hugs. I always think of you at this time of year.
You must have been so proud seeing Sophie carrying the Colour and how lovely that Thomas still loves a snuggle. x
It’s too easy sometimes to get sucked into thinking about all the things you haven’t got done. I am very guilty of that myself. Like you, though, I make myself look at all that did get done, and it makes me feel much better.
What a lovely photo of you and your husband, it’s so nice to have great memories to look back on.
Thinking of you in this difficult season, that’s a beautiful photo of Jessica’s smiling face.
It sounds like you have had lots of nice moments this week. I like the Numberblocks costume for WBD, it’s so colourful.
Gosh! Look how young you were! Those moments sometimes feel so far away!
Love that the weather is changing for you guys – the gray, cold winters can get a little much but spring really is just such a joy!
I love that photo of you and your husband. Sometimes it’s lovely to look back but it can also be painful. It’s hard to let go of the pain so, as you are well aware, you just have to ride the waves. Sending hugs.
What a lovely photo of your husband and you in your uni days. Looking back is both wonderful and sad, especially seeing all our loved ones who we lost. Jessica looks so pretty, with such a beautiful smile in that photo.
Dates bring poignant reminders.
My older boy was born on the same date my Dad died two years earlier, and it’s always a bitter sweet day for me.
Sending you gentle hugs.
What a fab photo of the two you from your Uni days. Love the WBD costume. Sorry you’re struggling at the moment with Jessica’s anniversary approaching, everyday can be a struggle in so many ways x. Sending you love and hugs for Mother’s Day x x x