A moment when I am just mummy and nothing more

There are days when motherhood feels overwhelming. Days when the to-do list seems too long and the time too short.  Days when I feel like I am trying to juggle too many balls in the air.  Days when tempers flare too easily; when the small irritations feel like last straws.  Days when it feels like the simplest of tasks takes forever to accomplish and the demands of small children feel relentless.

 

Parenthood can be intense and overwhelming at times.

 

There are days when I fall far short of the mother I would like to be. Days when I want to run down to the end of the garden and just scream; days when I want to run and hide and just be alone – just for a moment.  To be able to think and breathe and have space – and a hot cup of coffee.  Days when I reach the end of my tether by 9am and still have to try and find a little patience within.  Days when bedtime comes and I breathe a sigh of relief, looking forward to a little slice of me time.

 

But just as I settle down on the sofa and make myself comfy, I hear a cry from upstairs.  My first reaction is irritation at the me time lost, the lack of opportunity to get jobs done.  With a sigh, I lift my child into my lap for a cuddle.  And then something shifts.  As my child falls asleep in my arms, the anger melts away and I suddenly see clearly.  In that moment, I know that the to-do list can wait.  Right now, this is the most important thing – to hold my child close, and cherish a moment that has become increasingly rare.

Me sitting in bed with Jessica asleep on my chest and the text "A moment when I am just mummy and nothing more"

I listen to her soft breathing, see the way she holds her toy close and gaze upon her sleeping face.  For a moment I close my eyes, trying to capture this moment and hold it forever in my heart – the feeling of her head resting on my chest, her small body warm against me.

 

These are the moments when everything makes sense.  When I suddenly realise that these days are fleeting; that my children are growing up quickly, that they will not be small forever.  There was a time when I would spend almost every night sitting up like this, with a small child asleep in my arms.  Now it happens only now and then and the moments are more precious because they are so few.

 

Tomorrow, the juggling act may well begin again and the challenges and stressful moments of parenthood may still feel overwhelming at times.  But right here, right now, right in this moment, the things that have stressed me out no longer matter.  Here in this moment, I am just mummy and that is the most important thing in the world.

 

Two Tiny Hands

16 thoughts on “A moment when I am just mummy and nothing more

  1. upasna

    You are so right Lousie. These moments are short lived and sometimes I just want time to Freeze so that I can hug my Kiddo more and cuddle him till I want. But time really flow fast and in the blink of eye, they are ready to run away and then we will have lots of me time. Balance is hard to find in this Parenting stage. #FamilyFun

    Reply
  2. Karen : TwoTinyHands

    Beautiful Louise. I have a post in my drafts that goes like this. They are only small for such a short amount of time. It’s lovely to cuddle them while we can and while they want to be cuddled. Thanks for linking up to #FamilyFun

    Reply
    1. Louise Post author

      Thank you Karen – that time really does go by very quickly, although it doesn’t always seem that way when you’re in the middle of it!

      Reply
  3. Tammymum

    This is lovely. I am not stranger to feeling overwhelmed and as though my tether is abnormally short but for every moment like that you have a moment of like you say being a mummy and nothing more a moment where you forget and it makes everything worth while and in that moment just perfect. Thank you for sharing this at #familyfun

    Reply
    1. Louise Post author

      I’m quite relieved that I’m not the only one with an abnormally short tether! Those lovely moments do make it all worthwhile though! 🙂

      Reply
    1. Louise Post author

      Thank you Katy – it’s hard to see past all the things that need doing and focus on the moment sometimes, isn’t it? x

      Reply
    1. Louise Post author

      Thank you Nat – I think it’s only now that my girls are getting bigger than I really appreciate just how quickly those moments go by x

      Reply

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