Remember those good old days when we used to spend hours together, dreaming beautiful dreams, night after night? After a busy day, you were always there waiting with your big warm open arms ready to enfold me. I felt so snuggly and safe in your embrace and those hours we spent together were nearly always blissful ones.
Granted as I grew up, there were times when life got busy and I didn’t spend quite as much time with you as I perhaps should have, not to mention those moments here and there when you seemed more distant and elusive than you once were. Spending less time in your company often made me grumpy – I knew that you were good for me but it didn’t always stop me resisting your call to spend time together. But despite those blips here and there, on the whole you and I still were good together.
It all changed though when I was expecting my first baby. All of sudden there were moments when I sought you and you were no longer there. Despite my pleas that now I needed you more than ever, it seemed more and more frequently you were turning your back on me. Time spent with you became brief and intermittent, so many little things coming between us and disrupting the beautiful relationship we had once shared. Once my baby arrived, things got even worse between us. There never seemed any time for those beautiful dreams and any time we did spend together seemed to always come to an abrupt end.
Now, two children on, our relationship seems to have reached breaking point. You tease me, mock me – holding out your arms to me one minute and then pushing me away the next. When you’re with others, you often taunt me by embracing them whilst simultaneously turning your back on me, leaving me on the outside, looking inwards and feeling envious. Wanting to be the one you focus on and instead feeling envious of those that are enjoying your presence. There are times when I could cry for sheer frustration at this shift in our affairs. Why do you have to torture me in this way?
We used to be such good friends, you and I. Now we seem so distant. I know you blame my children for this change but I am sure that they would love you too if only you gave them more of a chance. Can’t we start by spending some more time together and see if we can close once again. I miss you, I need you. Let’s get together and see if we can work things out.
A very tired Mummy xxx
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